CORNEA CATASTROPHE!

This was no ordinary contact crisis. This was Calamity on a Grand Scale.

It started yesterday morning, when I realized, just in the nick of time, that I was about to put TOOTHPASTE on my contact lens.

I've had a suspicion for most of my life that today was fully confirmed: I am losing it. Today will go down in Infamy in the Annals of Ashley's Existence.

This morning as I went to put on my contact lenses, instead of solution, I put two big drops of CLEANSER onto my contact and then into my EYE. I thought it was all over. My right eye was dying in a blaze of fire and brimstone.

I rushed to the optomotrist, who told me, to my utter shock, that I was going to live. I glarred at him in a glazed grimmace. You are insane, I thought. My EYE is clearly ON FIRE. If you don't extinguish it now there will be nothing left!

But he was right. Thanks to God and antibiotics and lubricating drops, I am alive and well.

Friends, don't ever let me do that again. I'll take plain old contact crises any day. :)